2017 Reading Challenge

Despite a valiant last push at the end of 2016, I (YET AGAIN!) did not manage to reach my goal of 50 books in a year. I did manage to equal my personal best of 41 books so I’m pretty pleased about that because despite what some people might think, reading on maternity leave is not as easy as you might think (seeing as reading requires a functioning mind etc.).

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Living on Purpose

When I was really struggling with Austin and wondering why it seemed so much harder than last time (apart from the obvious things like me being older, Austin not being Evelina etc.), I realised that what was making it hard was not being in a routine. I was feeding him every two hours, on demand like I had been told. It took me months to remember that routine makes life so much easier (for me at least – not for everyone).

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Balance

Every January for the past three years, I have chosen a word to focus on. Last year was Nurture – I did a lot of that but I also didn’t really focus on it like I’d hoped. The joy of motherhood sometimes means that life seems to be passing by, like you’re on a train and watching it pass out the window. You see it but you don’t feel a part of it. It’s a strange feeling. 
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Floating

When I was writing my previous post, I had not been feeling particularly down or unhappy. I was just exploring some of the difficult feelings that I had been experiencing from time to time since having Austin. I had a lovely response to it and for a moment, I felt strangely exposed. I didn’t mean to alarm anyone but writing my feelings out is usually how I process them.

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Losing my Nerve

Ever since having Austin, I have the disconcerting feeling that I have lost my nerve. From inconsequential things like not being able to go down a high slide at Bewilderwood to more significant anxieties around returning to work, dealing with a lot of noise and sometimes even being in crowded places.  Generally, I am much less able to handle stress. As someone who usually relishes hustle and bustle, it’s a strange place to be.

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Far From Simple

I am taking advantage of a rare bit of time without the children to do some of the many things that I have had to put on the back burner since having Austin. I am writing so infrequently here, I wanted to take a look at the blog and decide how I wanted to proceed: delete it? Archive it? Revamp? None of these seemed appealing to me (although I can’t promise I won’t update the banner, a new theme is not necessary).

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