Today is an exciting day in our household. We welcomed two baby guinea pigs called Pumpkin (a buff piggy) and Clover (a cream piggy). They are in a huge six-foot hutch in the newly painted garage and I hope they are comfortable and not too scared / traumatised by the whole experience.
When I was writing my previous post, I had not been feeling particularly down or unhappy. I was just exploring some of the difficult feelings that I had been experiencing from time to time since having Austin. I had a lovely response to it and for a moment, I felt strangely exposed. I didn’t mean to alarm anyone but writing my feelings out is usually how I process them.
Ever since having Austin, I have the disconcerting feeling that I have lost my nerve. From inconsequential things like not being able to go down a high slide at Bewilderwood to more significant anxieties around returning to work, dealing with a lot of noise and sometimes even being in crowded places. Generally, I am much less able to handle stress. As someone who usually relishes hustle and bustle, it’s a strange place to be.
I am taking advantage of a rare bit of time without the children to do some of the many things that I have had to put on the back burner since having Austin. I am writing so infrequently here, I wanted to take a look at the blog and decide how I wanted to proceed: delete it? Archive it? Revamp? None of these seemed appealing to me (although I can’t promise I won’t update the banner, a new theme is not necessary).
Tomorrow, I will be forty years old. I thought for sure by the time I got to this ripe old age, I would feel more grown up but maybe that’s the big secret that no child knows: there is no one moment when you feel like you have it all together.
A medium I have been enjoying a lot lately is the podcast. I have subscribed to quite a few of late and I find it is a really informative and entertaining format which suits my mobile lifestyle (i.e. I am always on the move round the house or in the car or walking around the nature reserve with the pram!). These are my current favourites:
For someone who is usually only too happy to share her thoughts and feelings, it always catches me off-guard when I realise I have been bottling things up. I can always tell when I am feeling stressed because it shows in my face. Not in my expression. In my actual face. For a few days now, I’ve been plagued with itchy eyes (rampant hay fever I think) which has made the skin around my eye red and inflamed. I have eczema around my mouth and a nasty cold sore has just cleared up (I managed to ward off two other cold sore attempts with Zovirax).
Yesterday was the first day of documenting the every day and ordinary which is A Week in the Life, run by Ali Edwards. Last year’s was in August and I managed to get my album finished on Sunday.
A Week in the Life 2015 by Slidely Slideshow
I am now embarking on another week of documenting and I have realised I really love this project because most documenting that I manage to get done tends to be the special events or holidays etc. This allows me to look back and see how we were loving our normal lives. It will be great to see how these lives evolve year on year. Ali is all about championing our stories and reminding us that our storied matter.
Over 500 words! I am super thrilled to get some more written today. I am great at procrastinating and I really felt that the untidy state of my study was a superb excuse for not getting writing. I do still want to get my workspace in order but it is no longer a prerequisite for me to write. As Elise Joy says, you’ve got to Do the Work. Simple but so true.